Divorce and Addiction

Moving ahead is really crucial when it comes to reconstructing your life after divorce especially if you have an addiction issue. You'll be out of it for a time, but you'll discover that you are able to rebuild yourself and learn from your mistakes as well as keep you addictions in check. It's hard to part from somebody who once was a part of who you where, but you'll find that you may move on and discover new things in your life to bring you joy and happiness. You can find a new hobby at your church, within your community, or within your home or support group.

After you've allowed yourself to grieve, you'll start to want to find other things to fill your hours. If you're the type of individual who likes to be alone, you ought to find new things to learn that you are able to do by yourself. Take an art class. Learn how to sculpt or do pottery. You may also learn how to write. You can compose a story or article about your life to describe what you're going through. You might find that your hobby could turn into something that you can go after as a career. You'll be able to spend the hours productively than sitting in front of the television set.

Some women will adopt a hobby that gets them back into interacting with other people. You may want to join a local group. You may go to the community center and join a card game once a week. If you truly want to get back into the interaction, you might want to take dance lessons. Learn how to ballroom or to do some jazz. Then you'll be able to learn something and find something new to enjoy. It will be something new to experience. If dancing doesn't sound like a great hobby,take up something else. It's good for your recovery as well.

If you were really great at a sport, you may want to become an assistant coach or coach of a local high school team or college team. You may also do some community service to fill your hours. You may do things like feed the poor; raise revenue for your church or community, or other services that are needed.

Anything that you may shift your attention to will be a good thing. You'll be able to let go of all the hurt and pain and focus on something positive and keep your recovery on track. Even if you'd like to increase your reading or do a huge puzzle, do anything that will stimulate your brain and allow you to adjust your focus. When you discover a hobby or something to focus your attention on you have less of a chance of centering on the negative or railroading your recovery. You'll be able to find a positive release.

You can take many things, many classes, at local colleges that you may do with a friend. You can learn how to cook, paint, write, or anything else that will stimulate your creative thinking. Simply remember that you need to discover something that interests you and that's convenient. You may also find hobbies around the house too. You can go antiquing with a friend or you may remodel or redecorate. Again, anything that will get you to center on the positive outlooks on life will be of benefit.

You Are Sober- Now What

You got yourself clean and sober and today the fog is beginning to lift and realness smacks you in the face:

This is your life. Sober.

Now, what are you going to do to sustain it?

This is the entire point of a recovery program, be it a spiritual based program, the 12 step plan, a series of counseling and therapy sessions, or whatsoever. They all seek to do the same thing:

Keep you from backsliding.

So which one is the most beneficial one? What is the most beneficial technique of preventing relapse?

Now plainly there are recovering addicts and alcoholics who succeed utilizing different forms of relapse prevention. A few individuals follow a spiritual based plan and they do exceedingly well with it and it transforms their life for the better and they never utilize drugs or alcohol again.
Others will totally reject a religious based plan and they will not become open to the theme even for a short moment. For them, perhaps a different sort of relapse prevention works best, even the spiritual based 12 step plan maybe.

And still others are out there recovering who don't utilize faith or 12 step programs to prevent relapse. They discover additional ways to metamorphose their lives.

So now you understand: there's more than one way to live clean and sober in recovery. There's more than one way to forestall backsliding. Blanket statements like “Each alcoholic has one hope in this world and that's the plan of AA” are simply dead wrong.

The most beneficial relapse prevention model that is unparalleled to you is likely a mixture of many approaches, and will depend upon your willingness to search out what works for you, and what doesn't work for you.
Consider that for a minute:
It's your duty to test out what works better for you in recovery.

This guides us to 2 major hints:

* Don’t simply blindly live with the 1st solution stuffed down your throat, and
* Don’t simply sit there. Become active, and begin exploring your own development in recovery.
Finding what works for you

What do you utilize to assess success in recovery?
By far the most crucial measure is upheld abstinence. If you relapse, what you were doing wasn't working. Try something else. Relapse is the elemental indicator that you have to modify your plan of attack to recovery.

But let’s suppose that you manage to lay down a couple of weeks or a couple of months of clean time, but you nevertheless don’t feel really positive in your recovery. What is a different measure of success that you are able to utilize to judge how well you're doing?

Favorable daily action.

If somebody says “what did you accomplish for your recovery today?” and all you are able to say is “well, I didn’t drink or utilize drugs, but that's enough!” then I think you're really harming yourself in the long haul.

If abstention was all that was called for, then we would not require plans, or self help groups, or rehabs, or therapists, or counselors, or whatsoever. If all it called for was abstention, then there would be no junkies or boozers.

But recovery calls for more than mere abstention. If all you may claim as favorable action for every day is your sobriety, then you're on thin ice. You have to accomplish more.

More what?

More favorable action. More favorable changes in your life that center on personal growth.

I can't tell you what your precise relapse prevention program is, as everybody will be unique in that respect. But if you're not taking favorable action each day, then you have to discover a way to turn things around.
For instance, you may:

* Work out.
* Assist others in recovery.
* Go to meetings and share frankly.
* Go to religious groups and become involved with the community.
* Better your education and learn more.
* Volunteer.
* Instruct.

These are generally just general actions you may take to provide you an idea.

But truly what you wish to do is to figure out how you are able to grow personally, how you may better your own life, and how you may utilize your extra talents to assist and empower other people in the world. What are you great at doing? How may you best assist others? Discover a rewarding way to accomplish that.

A great relapse prevention program is based totally on YOU taking action. What actions you adopt are subject to experiment. You might have to research for a while. However the key is that you don't sit stagnate, and expect your recovery to come to you.

No, you have to go produce it for yourself.

If you abide by somebody else’s relapse prevention program, then you can't truly complain if you're not acquiring the outcomes that you wish. Rather, take charge of your own recovery, and begin working out which path will lead to personal growth.

Accept responsibility for your own success in recovery.

Can An Addict Teach Us About Personal Growth:Part 1

What can an addict teach us about personal growth?

A great deal. There's a great deal wisdom to be discovered by the addict’s journey from dependency to recovery.

I recognize that some of you scanning this now maynot be drug addicts and alcoholics. That’s all right – but you stand to acquire great insight from the experience of those who have struggled and overcome a dangerous addiction. There are a lot of parallels between recovery and personal development. Many would reason that their paths are really one and the same.

Living with a recovering drug addict , one of my loves is exploring the process of defeating addiction. While there are several different recovery programs, most of them share a lot of of the same features, so individulas who discover success in recovery do so by adopting a similar path. Here are a few of the things that lead to long term sobriety, while as well having pragmatic application for personal development:

Defeating addiction calls for overwhelming power

This was a big awakening for me personally. It took me awhi;le to realize just how strong of a commitment was called for for long term sobriety.

Applying overwhelming power is counter-intuitive. We don’t require it for 99 % of our day-to-day interactions. For instance, let’s say you want to pick up your front room. Would it truly be essential to individually dust and then hand-wash each whatnot, steam clean every square inch of rug, wash and repaint the walls and the ceiling, vacuum all cloths and drapery, and so forth? Naturally not. This is overwhelming power, and it’s plainly not essential in this situation. We get pretty good outcomes (a clean front room) with only a small investment (quick dusting and vacuuming). We can see this same case acted out in a million different places. Put in a small effort, and get a small return. Almost all of our basic, day-to-day experiences reinforce this concept.

Addiction and recovery does not work like that in the least. A small effort in defeating addiction will always result in relapse. It's only through the use of overwhelming power that an addict can defeat the unbelievable pull of addiction. Lukewarm efforts or even a moderately strong commitment will result in full failure. This is why a lot of addicts battle for several years, going in and out of treatment plans, only to someday (hopefully) work out the intense level of personal commitment needed to succeed.

For a lot of addicts and alcoholics, addiction is a life-or-death circumstance. They're surviving on the brink of absolute destruction at the hands of these chemicals. Suppose your goals in personal development were of a life-or-death nature. So use this precept to dominate your personal development goals.

Be sure to check back for the rest of this series.